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Choose Love, Not Guilt

Choose Love, Not Guilt

Love yourself toward change.

—Kelly Kanski

Motivated by love, grounded in connection.

Guilt may get you to the gym for a little while, but it does not result in lasting change. It’s a state of internal condemnation that beats you up inside.  Guilt is the voice you hear in your head when you have violated some internal standard you’ve been taught, however misconstrued it might be. You feel guilty when you are overweight, when you say no, when you eat junk, when you allow yourself to be taken advantage of, when you overeat, when you lack willpower, when you binge and purge and when you make yourself a priority. Responding to guilt is the wrong queue for change. Instead, choose love.

Own your story.

It’s really, really hard to transform your health from a condemned place. Believing you are “bad” distorts your reality, prompts blame and prevents you from owning your story. Take a step back and see how you are being short-changed by guilt. It’s not even an actual emotion, it only masks your ability to feel what’s really going on and keeps you stuck. Here’s the secret: NOTHING has the power to make you feel guilty. When it creeps up, it’s because a part of you agrees with the external message you are receiving. The message hits a spot in your emotional brain, most likely something engrained from your past. The harsh reality is that guilt is now YOUR problem. You must own it or it will own you.

Love yourself toward change.

So what about love? When we remove guilt, we begin to feel real emotion and can get moving! Being vulnerable to sadness and sorrow will get us unstuck and move us toward love and compassion for ourselves. We begin to believe that we are worth something more than the guilt. When we are thriving, we are able to maintain good boundaries that help us set limits, say no, and enforce consequences with ourselves while being accountable to others. This is how we love ourselves toward change. This is how we live our best life. But be warned, if this process were easy, you would have done it by now. Hammering out your healthy transformation takes a lot of courage, vulnerability and work.  You will have highs and lows and running into resistance is a sign that you are on the right track. Hang in there, it’s worth it.

Are you feeling stuck?

Do not let guilt rob you of living your best life. Own it, get connected and learn new information that will help restore your soul to speak louder than the guilty voice in your head. Be motivated by love and grounded in connection. What would it be like to feel good in your body? If you’re feeling stuck, just reach out. Franklin Wheelhouse promotes change from the inside out through fitness, nutrition and life coaching. Get connected and make a change before life passes you by.

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